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Thursday, April 20, 2006

I signed up for many more art swaps than it was wise to do, but I am grateful in a way. I have not done any art in weeks; even my ebay sales, which were doing so nicely, have ground to a halt. There are multiple roadblocks on my ususal ink-and-mica covered road, and here, for your perusal (or perhaps to your dismay) is a partial list:

1) We are in the process of seeking a diagnosis for my youngest son, now 5, in light of years of difficulties in social settings and in life in general. He is a font of imagination, creativity and passion, quick to erupt ith either joy or rage.Since real kids find him a bit larger-than-life after a short time, his most frequent companions are his imaginary friends Elizabit and Apple. So....We will know on Monday if we are dealing with ADHD or early onset Bi-Polar disorder. Or, God Help Me, both. Having all 3 boys in the house for Spring Break this week has really helped me see why he winds up, despite being a humble kindergartner, in the principal's office at least once a week. Which brings me to

2) Making plans for my 20th high school reunion here in CT the weekend of May 19th. THIS I am excited for, not only to revisit a time in my life when less pressing issues consumed me, like was I going to die a virgin, or panicking when I misplaced my favorite lipgloss. The other reason this thrills me is I will be ALL ALONE, no hubby and kids, God love em, but just me in a quiet hotel room for not one but TWO nights! Technically, the second night is a gift to myself. The party will be all but over Saturday afternoon, but I decided not to drive home that night but enjoy the sanctuary of silence and a kingsize bed, maybe a candlelit bubble bath (I wonder if the hotel has candles I can borrow? Might have to bring my own!) some soothing music, some room service, and a chance to reconnect with the quieter part of my mind. I look forward to seeing old friends, and will be sad for the ones we've lost along the way, or those too far too travel...though I would urge them to make the effort! It has been too long!

3)SPRING! Getting out and breathing in the breezes and the sun is unspeakably delicious. I love the months of April and May (could it be my May bday?) adn am planning to spend at least one weekday in the next few weeks at Silver Sands State Park, a beautiful beach in Milford, without the kids, just by myself, beach combing and BREATHING. It is a wonderful place for long walks, and if you have the right company, long talks, and I look forward each year to spending a handful of hours there before the sunworshippers overrun it.

4)My new duties at my job keep me very busy, but happy busy. One of my favorite new duties is being on a panel of esteemed judges for the poetry contest. Not only does this give me the honor of seeing first hand some wonderful written work, but has inspired me to start churning out new poems of my own, and revisiting old ones.
Just because I like you, here is one now:

In my palm rests a certain shell;
Ordinary to most eyes, its curves and sunbleached linen walls
Unremarkable.
Yet, I sense that you would know,
If I placed it in your hand,
What a gift from my heart it was, as all I have to offer,
A relic that survived the seas embrace for a long and uneasy ride.

The palest ribbon of loss
That for so long bound our deepest bones
Now flutters like a flag of surrender over the dunes;
Truly would you cross over to where I stand?
My bare feet set at the water's edge,
I breathe in salt and memory.
Would you close those open miles
And reach across the sea
To linger next to me
For the next few sunlit hours?

The seabirds wheel and dive
On the watercolor sky, while
The restless ocean glitters, mineral and wet,
In this sunshine,
This transient gift of fleeting gold.

Short Beach, Stratford, 2005

3 comments:

R2K said...

: )

Jennifer D. said...

Hi Nici,
I just read a couple of your blog entries, I hope you are still going to your reunion. It looks like you could really use the ME time. I loved your poem and even though The Diagnosis was full of raw emotion, I marvelled at your ability to express yourself in heartbreaking detail. That has to be
a coping mechanism you are putting to good use.
I have not had children with these difficulties but I am a teacher who has found something to love in many difficult children. I am sure that teachers will be place in your son's path who will find the treasure in him no matter how far it is buried. Hopefully your weekend away will renew your energy.
Jennifer R.D. from the Artella group

Jennifer D. said...

Hi Nici,
I just read a couple of your blog entries, I hope you are still going to your reunion. It looks like you could really use the ME time. I loved your poem and even though The Diagnosis was full of raw emotion, I marvelled at your ability to express yourself in heartbreaking detail. That has to be
a coping mechanism you are putting to good use.
I have not had children with these difficulties but I am a teacher who has found something to love in many difficult children. I am sure that teachers will be place in your son's path who will find the treasure in him no matter how far it is buried. Hopefully your weekend away will renew your energy.
Jennifer R.D. from the Artella group